sorry for not updating. spacebar is completely gone now. will update when ricky's computer is working better.

this is my natural color. just to show how drastic my going blonde is lol

ok so i decided to put up the blonde that i got last night. i love it. got made fun of by some of my class but i love it. alrighty i'm off to read everybody's journal!

i'm going to be the class project tonight. they'll be bleaching my hair tonight. i'm a little nervous but it will all work out.

this is the 4th day in a row that i've been genuinely happy. it feels good. i'm liking being happy lol.

oh shit i just remembered we have a big test tonight.

off to study lol

i was such an annoying bitch last night.
i was upset about patty not going to school. i know it's not her fault and she went to work cuz she gets paid for that. ugh. stop it mandee. and i was complaining about having nobody to talk to. ashley commented on my facebook and said that if i talked more then i wouldn't be lonely. she's right. i've got to start talking more and open up. i just get so nervous that people aren't going to like me or be annoyed with me. i've got to let that go, i just don't know how. ugh....
alrighty i've got to start cleaning up. i'm so excited for my 4 day weekend! and tonight all i have to do is drive up there sign the role and leave. i'm thinking about bringing jay with me. they haven't seen her yet so yeah i want to bring her up there.

off to clean and eat breakfast!

ok so i have been kinda depressed lately but i'm trying. like today, really good happy me. i've decided to cut some things out of my life and the decision feels good.
we went ahead and put up our christmas tree and some decorations. i think this is what's lifted my spirits.
yay for no school thursday or saturday!! i skipped last night. and for once i really don't feel bad. i was stressed, crampy, had literally just started my period, tired, been sick all weekend and would be going alone. so yeah and of course it was our first night of haircoloring. ugh what i've been waiting for!
so i think i've decided to go back blonde. at least for a few months. i'll add some pink or purple or blue later on.
i can't wait for thanksgiving but i'm going to miss going to my grandma's. there's just so much shit going around. my mom is a mess lately. trying to scramble and find a way for kevin to get to school. he's actually trying this year nad if he can get everything passed he'll graduate this year. i'm so proud of him. he's really messed up but he's trying for something this time. jimmy and my mom are probably breaking up. she can do so much better but she's just breaking to pieces. it kills me to look at her. she's so.....i don't even know how to describe it.....it's just bad. my grandma's really sick. her blood pressure won't stay down. i'm worried about both of them.

ok i'm going to stop dwelling on the bad and focus on j, ricky, school, cleaning lol.

oh we got another dog the other day. kerrie from school had to get rid of him so i took him. his name is gimli. he's a jack russel terrier. he's sweet but can be a butt lol.

alrighty time to clean! oh so excited lol

i just realized i haven't updated in awhile.

nothing big has happened really.

went to bojangles for patty's 21st birthday and got really drunk. oh happy night. we had lots of fun. can't wait to do it again!

new moon is tonight! that my present to pattycakes.

school's doing pretty good. got an 85 on my final last night and tonight is jeans night. yayness!
still don't know what we're taking next module.

jay's doing great. she's a handful! she can be a butt though!!! i'm going to start getting ready to put up christmas stuff this weekend. now i can focus on the house for the next few days. no studying!

ugh....so tired lol.

i'll try to post some pictures soon.

happy birthday to me.

jay's got a doc appointment and as of this minute we have no carseat. ricky forgot to take it out of the truck this morning.

ack i want to read more vampire kisses books. meh. nobody has them ( i've read the first and own the second) that would let me borrow them. blah.

please god

will you let ricky get a decent check for the first time in oh 5 months?

i'd like to buy some groceries next week.

k thanx

you know what? FUCK PETA!

that is all

worried about jay. she's got the same sores in her mouth as when she had herpes. i thought that was never supposed to come back. damn kid things and them being weird. we though maybe she was getting a tooth in. she kept saying my mouth hurts. got a doc appointment at 9:30.

in other news school is going great. i got fingerwaves down now and have a test monday. i only have a little over an hour to make up. we don't take our 35 minute lunch break.

alright gotta go patty's on her way over here to go with me and jay.

so i haven't updated cuz jay broke the space bar on my keyboard and it's hard to type.

we had to rush jay to the doctor today cuz she had over 60 ant bites all over body. she's fine now, still swollen though.

here's a pic of her right after we left the doctor's office.

what is up with the maniacal laughing from jay today?

she been weird ever since the power went out for a few minutes.

in other news she's been using the potty about once a day for the past few days. yeah jay!

OK SCARY ASS THUNDER AND LIGHTING RIGHT NEXT TO MY WINDOW. IT FUCKING KNOCKED A SHELF OFF THE WALL.

had a great 2 year anniversary today. went to see harry potter for the 2nd time, then to big apple chinese food. then ricky ran me to wal mart to get some pencils, a good eraser and a fine point sharpie to go with my sketchbook. that's my anniversary pressie. ricky's is playing paintball tomorrow. no idea how much that will cost. but we seem to be doing ok with the help of patty. god she is so sweet to help like this! alright i think i'm going to go draw some now or something!

officially in college as of today. payments aren't so bad. $50 every 5 weeks and then 6 months after my last day of school i start paying around $60 a month for like forever....or uh 10 years....first day is august 10 get all my uniforms and kit and everything that day i think.

going to see harry potter tonight. so excited!

Jaden threw up last night. She was burning up too. So of course we let her sleep all night with us and somehow ended up with Lucy in the bed with us too. Now I have to get the house straightened up and decorate a cake for Molly's birthday. Yeah her birthday sucked....I had to run her to the hospital down here cuz she sliced her finger trying to fix the hot water heater. Spent 2 and a half hours there...just to glue her finger.....me=not happy.
But yeah I think we've decided I'll be going to night classes. I just have to beg people to watch Jaden for a few hours on Saturday. My mom will watch her sometimes and I'm pretty sure Ricky's stepmom will watch her. So yeah maybe once a month for the next 2ish months.
Sliced my hand yesterday.
Ok so maybe I should go do something besides just sit here on the computer....

going to school. almost everything's figured out. appointment with financial aid tuesday. mostly everything should be figured out by then.

i have an interview tomorrow at 8 for cosmetology school. i'm excited but nervous. the price of tuition and whatnot includes my kit, uniform and shoes that i have to wear. classes will start aug. 10. they'll put me through with financial aid after tomorrow's interview. hoping i get the full financial aid because ricky doesn't have a set amount he makes a year. his income is based on how much he sells. we'll see. more tomorrow.